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Metal Gear Hardening
Suzan unleashes her undying anger upon the residents of her remote town, looking for the DICKS and VAGINA squads. PART TWO OF THE EPIC TWO PARTER. Characters *DICKS #Derek #Issac #Cameron #Kaleb #Samuel *VAGINAS #Violet #Amy #Georgia #Ianthe #Nicole #Absinthe #Suzan *METAL GEAR™ Transcript (We begin this adven- okay this is getting old. Let's join Suzan in her apartment.) Suzan: I...hate...those...fuckers. (She throws a huge fireball at a wall.) Suzan: DAMMIT! Why can't I just kill them?! (The DICKS break through the ceiling.) Issac: Dude, those Voodoo Doughnuts were awesome! Samuel: True that! Derek: Hey Suzan! Suzan: Yeah. Hey. (The VAGINA squad slowly falls through the ceiling.) Ianthe: Hey Suzan, are you OK? (Suzan angrily throws a fireball at Ianthe.) Suzan: Fuck off! Issac: Calm down! Want a doughnut? (Suzan gets angry and crashes through the ceiling in a ball of fire.) Derek: Let's get her! I'll pay back that alpha bitch with a punch to the face! Violet: Derek! Don't focus on the past! Derek: *sigh* You're right. We need to break out the ultimate weapon. Issac: Drugs? Derek: No. The other ultimate weapon. (Both squads fly off, and land in a deserted parking garage.) Absinthe: This looks to be the locker. Anybody got the key? (Issac is scratching his ass.) Issac: *clink* *clink* *clink* Amy: Issac? Do you have the key? Issac: *clink* What? *clink* *clink* Georgia: Stop scratching your ass and look in your pocket, dammit! Issac: (looks in pocket.) Oh. (Issac hands the key to Absinthe.) Absinthe: Here goes nothing... (She unlocks the door and lifts it up.) Derek: The Metal Gear! Issac: Who's gonna drive that thing? Derek: I will. (Silence. Derek walks towards to the Metal Gear hops in it.) Absinthe: How are you going to catch Suzan with that thing? Derek: Like this. (He whips out a rocket launcher and blows up the Metal Gear, shooting rockets at the ground to keep himself up.) Derek: See ya bitches! (Derek rocket jumps off.) Issac: What a crazy bitch. (A few minutes later, in space.) Derek: Hey Suzan! Suzan: The fuck do you want? Derek: Wanna brawl to the death? Suzan: Hehe. Sure thing. Issac(os): DEREK! Derek: Huh? (Issac is in the Metal Gear with rocket feet.) Derek: What the fuck Issac?! Issac: We fixed up the Metal Gear! And put some rocket feet on it! (Derek jumps into the Metal Gear and Issac ejects.) Derek: See ya! Issac: Bye! Derek: Alright. Here we go! (Suzan blasts an fireball at Derek, but he quickly evades, shooting bullets at the same time. Suzan blasts up in the air, going up in a spiral of fire as she darts down towards Derek. Derek makes a downward move as he shoots bullets above himself, effectively hitting Suzan in the leg.) Suzan: Fuck! (Suzan tumbles toward Earth.) Derek: Time to finish you off! (Derek puts his fist out while he blasts towards Earth, bursting into flames.) Derek: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Derek punches Suzan in the face, thrusting her into the Earth's crust.) Suzan: You...win. Derek: Fuck yeah! (Derek get sunglasses and stands in front of a background with bald eagles, apple pies and bikinis.) Derek: 'MURICA! What did you think of this episode? Terrible! (1/5) Less terrible. (2/5) OK. (3/5) Great! (4/5) I'M BATMAN! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:Dick Sticks Category:July Releases